FRED the CAT!
by blazenutmeg
Summary: During a warp, Fred is somehow transformed into a kitten! What happens when he joins ThunderClan?
1. Chapter 1

FRED the CAT!

Once Fred had warped away with Bluestar, He appeared in a random forest.

"What the HECK!" Fred mewed.

Then he thought to himself, I don't mew. Then he thought, THIS IS A TIME WARP TRIO REMAKE OF IT'S THE HEDGEHOG'S MEOW ISN'T?

"Yes." Blazenutmeg said. "Except it's more epic because BLUESTAR'S IN IT!

So then Fred realized that he was apparently much shorter and fluffier because he looked up and saw Joe and Sam staring down at him with very shocked (and possibly horrified) faces.

"OMG!" Anna screamed, because Joe's annoying little sister had apparently jumped into the warp thing just as they'd warped out. "He's just so…ADORABLE!"  
She picked up Fred and started cuddling him and petting him and saying those cute little things you say to pets like, "Who's the most adorable cat in the world? You are!"  
And Fred was like, well, this feels really good, oh, no, scratch more to the left, yeah, that's good…OK, there's something really wrong here, I should be clawing your eyes out, but oh, no, my neck. Not there. Yeah, that's better….

So then Fred looked up at Sam and Joe and mewed, "What happened?" And both Joe and Sam looked like they were going to cry from terror. And so when Fred said, "MEW!" they both ran away screaming like little Irish Chipmunks.

And Bluestar was not there. So Fred jumped out of Anna's arms and set off to find her. Anna went off to find Joe and Sam (who were hiding in a cave)

Fred was walking along. Then, because he was not watching where he was going, he bumped right into some big, brown thing.

"Watch where you're going!" Tigerclaw wheeled around, teeth bared, claws unsheathed, looking like he was going to shred poor Fred to bits right then and there. But when he saw Fred was looking at him with bright blue eyes shining with curiosity and a hint of surprise, not fear, he decided that he could ask Bluestar to make the fuzzy yellow-furred kit his apprentice in like, a hundred moons! BECAUSE FRED WAS APPARENTLY VERY TINY!

"What in STARCLAN ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE! YOU CAN'T BE MORE THAN A MOON OLD!" Tigerclaw yowled, fearing for the tiny kit's life. "AND WHAT THE HECK IS ON YOUR HEAD!"

Fred was still wearing his hat.

It was stuck over one furry yellow, pointed ear and lopped over to one side.

"Uh…it's called a hat." Fred mewed. But Tigerclaw picked him up by his scruff and fled to camp with him.

"Brindleface!" He meowed to the most EPIC QUEEN IN THE NURSERY, whose kits had recently died. "Can you watch this fuzz ball? He was alone in the forest! I THINK HE WAS GOING TO GET EATEN BY COWS!"

"You have the strangest fears." Brindleface mewed. "But I can watch the sweet kit. Does he have a name?"

"Nope." Tigerclaw mewed. "You can name him." He set Fred down and gave him a rather rough but loving lick. Brindleface nudged Fred toward her belly with her tail. Confused, Fred stretched out on his back and went to sleep.

"Yo, Brindleface, Me GIRL!" Frostfur, Brindleface's sister mewed. "SUP?"

"I got this kit." Brindleface THE EPIC meowed, "Tigerclaw brought him in from the forest. He has no name."

"Hmm." Frostfur mewed in her epic retro way. "We should call him Hippiekit!"

"Oh, no way. Not Hippiekit. That's just wrong." Goldenflower mewed from across the nursery. "How about….Sunkit? Like that Sunstar from when Bluestar was a warrior?" She looked at Fred. "His fur sticks out everywhere like the sun. And he's very weirdly yellow."

"Sure." Frostfur mewed. "K, Brindle?"

"Well, what's with the blue thing on his head?" Brindleface mewed and Fred twitched in his sleep and made a pillow out of his hat and Brindleface's tail.

"IT'S A HAT!" They heard Tigerclaw yowl from halfway across the camp.

"Let's call him HATKIT!" Squealed Goldenflower in that cutely excited way. So they did. ~~~~~

U5m


	2. How kits eat and Yellowfang's a surgeon

Hatkit/Fred was getting his soft, cute, fluffy tail kicked by Bramblekit in the nursery.

Then he jumped up with some epic move.

"I'm hungry." He mewed to his adopted mother, Brindleface. "When do we eat? WHAT do we eat?"

"Oh, you're so young and cute." Brindleface nuzzled Hatkit/Fred. "He must have been abandoned before he could figure out how to eat kit food. I wonder how he survived?." She nuzzled Hatkit/Fred. "The warriors, Apprentices, Queens, and Elders eat Fresh-Kill. Kits like you drink milk." So Hatkit was staring at Brindleface as she explained how he was supposed to get his lunch.

"Um…that's just wrong…" Hatkit mewed with this twisted, creeped out expression on his face. "Um…do I have another option?"  
"Nope."

Fred looked at her….and fainted.

"Like, OMG, Yellowfang, is he, like, gonna be, like, OK?"

That hippie Frostfur is creeping me out, Fred/Hatkit though to himself.

"I think so, if you'd give the mangy scrap of fur till sunhigh without your annoying babbling." A scruffy gray cat snarled to Frostfur. Who was she calling mangy?

"Yellowfang, Snowkit, Shadowkit, and Firekit all are…Oh, StarClan! Is this kit all right?"

"He will be now that he doesn't have Frostfur meowing in his ear 24/7, Sunpool." The cat who was apparently Yellowfang meowed.

"Are you positive?"  
"I'm the medicine cat! Of course I'm positive! _DUH!_"

"Hey, YellarFANGY, ZUP!" A tiny white kit smaller than Fred/Hatkit with blackened ears leaped into the nursery.

"Look, Snowkit, I'm busy. I have a possibly sick kit on my paws, and you don't appear unhealthy. So-

"Wa-hoo, who's the cutie on the floor?" Snowkit flipped her tail over Fred/Hatkit's flank.

"WHAT'S IT TO YA, YOU, uh…BERRY BRAIN?" Fred/Hatkit meowed, trying to think of the best Warrior related insult he could come up with.

"Oh, chill out, sweet. Why don't you meet me at Poopplace at Sunhigh?"

"WHY DOES THAT AFFECT-YEOOWW!"  
"Snowkit, I want you out, now." Yellowfang growled. "Cinderpaw!"

A sweet gray-furred apprentice leaped out of the den.

"I need you to look this little kit over. He appears to be in pain, with all that yowling." Yellowfang meowed, flicking her tail at Fred/Hatkit. "While I take care of this pesky little nursery escapee." She snatched up Snowkit, who was babbling about mates and her kits and how cute the new kit was and if he was going to meet her at poopplace or not.

Cinderpaw was licking Fred/Hatkit's face gently. "Where does it hurt?"  
But Fred had already fainted away again. ( HE was having stomach cramps form hunger)

"What do you think is wrong?" Yellowfang yowled as she belted back into the medicine clearing.

_Flashback_

"_Sunpool, I got a delivery for you." Yellofang mewed through her mouthful of kit fur.  
"Snap. Is it Snowkit, in trouble again?" Sunpool yowled from inside the nursery._

"_Maaaaaaaaayyyyybeeee…." Snowkit meowed. Yellowfang tossed her into the nursery. _

"_That went well." Shadowkit said as he dashed to his sister's side. _

"_Really." Firekit and Icekit mewed together. _

"_Snowkit, I want to talk to you." Sunpool yowled._

"_Snap."  
End Flashback_

"Does he need SURGERY?"

That was enough to snap little Hatkit out out of it. "NO! I REFUSE TO BE OPERATED ON!"  
"Cinderpaw, go get poppy seeds to make him sleep. And will you go get what he needs for pain? You remember, don't you?" Yellowfang meowed as she sharpened her claws on a rock.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
~Weeks Later~

Fred/Hatkit was practically dying of hunger. Thankfully, there had been no surgery…yet.

He was ranting in the nursery.

"I can't believe this!" He yelped. "I am TEN FREAKING YEARS OLD! AND WHAT AM I DOING IN THE NURSERY?"

After endless ranting, Frostfur shook out her white fur and grasped his scruff in her teeth.

"Hon, you need to chill." She mumbled.

"Hey, where are you taking me! I'm…uh…ten! In human years! But…I'm too young to die! I'm a kitten! OK? Are you happy! Pleasepleaseplease don't kill me! I have friends! And a family! And a great grandchild! You can't kill me! I might.."

He was cut off by Frostfur shoving his face into Brindleface's belly. (You can guess what happens….)

"That's wrong…but yummy!" Hatkit mewed. He rolled over on his back and sunned his belly again.


	3. THE END!

Chapter Tres!

Hatkit had his tail fuzzed out as he targeted his attack. Bramblekit was play fighting with him.

"Kits, time to eat!" Brindleface meowed. All the kits ran to their parents. Hatkit licked Brindleface's cheek lovingly and started nursing happily.

He thought of how happy he was in a clan. And how he loved the nursery.

He pictured Joe and Sam laughing their heads off.

He stopped.

_Meanwhile…with Joe and Sam….._

Joe and Sam had concluded it was safe to exit the cave.

"Where'd Fred go?" Sam said, still shaking with shock and horror.

"I don't know. He took off after we ran away screaming….And where's Anna?"

"I FOUND YOU!"

Joe and Sam screamed again and turned to run into the cave, but it was only Anna.

"Geeez, what's with you?" Anna rolled her eyes. "I found the book."

"Great! Let's go!" Sam shouted, running forward.

"What about Fred?" Joe argued.

"Oh."  
Just then, the book started glowing!

A certain page was flashing with bright green light. Joe opened the book to the certain page. It read:

_You friend is hidden in the depths of the forest….safe. You must find him. He loves his life, but does not truly belong there. _

_~StarClan_

"OK…."

So after endless searching, they found a clearing. Cats were striding around inside the clearing.

They walked into the clearing. Every cat screamed like a little she-kit and fled to dens.

They walked toward a certain den. It just felt like the one.

Soft kit mews wafted out. A tabby was flicking her tail over a little yellow furball who was attacking a little brown tabby.

The big tabby meowed something, and the brown tabby raced away and curled up neatly next to a calico kitten, The yellow kitten attacked the big tabby's tail.

She mrowed sharply, and the yellow kitten flattened his ears and looked down while the cat scolded him. She watched as he pitifully dropped his tail and trudged off. Then she leaned forward and grasped his scruff an dpulled him next to her, licking him, mewing softly. The little kit mewed and giggled with soft kitten purrs. She mewed again, and he jumped into a hat and, curling up, began to sleep.

"We found him. That's defiantly Fred." Joe whispered. He reached in, snatched the hat, Fred and all, and held him up triumphantly.

"THIS KITTEN IS OURS!" He screamed, and took off running. Anna was still standing there with the Book.

Fred had FINALLY COME TOO (cause he's a heavy sleeper apparently) and he saw Joe holding him in his hat, no Brindleface, no Bramblekit, no Goldenflower, not even the annoying hippie Frostfur.

He did the only thing an unhappy, lonely, and possibly frightened kit can do.

H estarted mewling and crying like a maniac.

His deep blue eyes got huge. And he kept mewing and crying a whimpering like a little depressed Bluefur losing a Snowfur (Bluestar's Prophecy)

"OK…."

So then they warped home.

And Fred was lying on the floor.

"Oh…what just happened?"

Joe and Sam stated breathing again.

~~End~~


End file.
